Paul Stafford
Pants on Fire
Crawford House, 1999
108p., pbk., $9.95
Blatantly
Bogus is
a book that has 7 short stories.
The stories are:
The
Electric Undies
– Scoob Parker has a new invention – the electric undies
The
Funnel-Web Run
– Barney has a freaky experience with Funnel-Web spiders.
The
Miraculous Muscle Machine
– Jeff will do nearly anything to get his hands on a Miraculous Muscle
Machine, but they’re too expensive.
He changes his mind when he sees what happens to Hugo.
Brainiac
– Super smart, super pain in the neck.
Sam Sieban makes a rideable hot air balloon and attempts to get
over the lake and to the school.
Will he make it?
The
Big Dinner
– Mrs Pottingsworth-snide is holding another one of her annoying dinners
to raise money for the school.
What a dinner!
Flee
Fly
– Leon Phelps wants to break the fly-killing record.
Gross, huh!
The
Discount Christmas Company
– Petra and Rina are picked to help plan the schools 15th
anniversary Christmas party.
Petra has a great idea of a parachuting Santa Claus but the $145
isn’t enough, so they bet $100 on a horse race.
This
book has a few inappropriate words but otherwise it is pretty good.
Most of the stories are funny.
The
illustrator, Shane Summerton, has drawn funny, little cartoon pictures on
the front and back cover, making the story look more interesting, plus,
you get 8 free stickers included with the book.
Reviewer:
Zoe, 12,
Perth
Basically
Bollocks consists
of eight stories with different characters in each story.
The words
are easy to read, and all stories are read-alone.
All the stories were funny, with two stories being just ok. The
language is all right but there are some inappropriate words, that is why
I think the readers should be 11 and 12 years old or above.
There
weren’t any illustrations in the stories but the front cover is good,
especially when added to the other books, making a complete picture.
All the
stories are set in the present day.
I enjoyed
all the stories and would recommend it to my friends.
The short story titles are:
Anthony Kerr and the Acker factory
The Birthday Bummer
The Helmet
The Running Potion
The Dog Squeeze
Baboon Brain
The Koala Creek Mascara
Ludicrous Lies
The
Lentil Report
Marty Farquar has to sit
next to John Hopkins in class who does the grossest, loudest, smelliest,
killer farts. He was the MASTER BLASTER and it got worse! He was always
blamed for it!
The King of the Mountain
You
have to be kidding billy carting down a massive mountain called Cumjong
Heights at Midnight! That is what Chris tries to achieve.
Hairbrain
This
guy is mad he would do anything to get Rebecca Reid’s attention.
You name it, he’d do it, but she thinks he’s a jerk.
Double Spook
Phil
made a bet with his sister. If she stays in the old mill on Friday night
and doesn’t believe in ghosts on Monday morning then she wins! But when
he tries to scare her, they see a ghost a real one.
The Razo King
Fat
Larry wanted all the razo’s more than anyone else. The only way you
could get them was to buy Chappers Corn Chips. Fat Larry had tons except
for razo number 36, the rarest one.
Dead
Set
Abbotsford
King runs his own detective agency. Try cracking a case put together with
your worse fear, the dentist! Abbotsford
King tries to beat a criminal at the dentist but it all goes wrong when
the criminal catches him.
The Book
When
a family builds a robot nothing could go wrong right. Yeah right! The
whole family starts fighting over it.
It gets a lot worse!
I
think this book is suitable for age 12 and up. I think this book is
read-aloud and read- alone book. Paul Stafford is a great writer and I
can’t wait to read his other books.
Reviewer:
Fat Tommy, 12, Perth
Fully Faked has 6 short stories in it. I liked all the stories, especially the one about the static electricity. The book is for readers of about 12 years of age.
By Cherie, 11, Perth metro
Heinous
Humbuggery
The
Space Undies:
Scoob Parker has invented something that will get him into aired
into space.
Buried
in Time:
Henry Doodle has gone nuts.
He’s imagining that he’s on a beach and seeing and talking to
pirates.
Beanz
Meanz Revenge:
When Billy ‘Boom Boom’ Barnes gets into trouble, he’s sent to
scoutmaster Beaglehole.
Beaglehole is mean, he’s angry but he hasn’t met Billy!
Assassin:
When Lisa Luckstep found out the Queen was coming to town, she had
to get her….since she is the ASSASSIN!
Lawn
and Order:
Larry
Beancurd finds himself in court trying to divorce his parents because they
tried to embrace him in the most terrifying ways!
The
Lagerphone Lesson:
When a kid invents a musical instrument, the whole town loves it,
but for all the wrong reasons.
The
Ballad of Stinky Jenkins:
Sharon Jenkins is given the most disgusting job but she’s found a
way to make it all good.
I
think kids around the age of 12 to 15 should read this book.
The
illustrations are good but there aren’t many of them.
The
titles are great; eye-catching.
I can say the same for the cover, too.
When
the covers of all 8 books are joined together they make a greater picture.
The
book is a read-alone book, but then again it is good to share the laughs
around.
My
favourite story is Beanz Meanz Revenge because it is funny and gross (in a
good way).
Reviewer:
Ben , 12 , Perth
There
were 5 short stories in this book.
I think the Pants on Fire series is for ages 12 and up.
My
favourite story was, ‘Pissed Off’ because it is funny.
I don’t know where Paul Stafford got his sense of humour.
I
want to read all of Paul Stafford’s books.
I hope he writes another series.
Pissed
Off:
This story is about a girl that still wets her bed at the age of
12. Her
name is Rachael.
Her brother calls her Miss Piss when the oldies are away.
Locker
13:
Locker 13 is about a boy called Wes who always gets into trouble
and would swear at anybody that said he could be good.
One day he stood on a frog and was expelled.
Bludge
Tuesday:
BT is about a boy that does not like school at all.
He got expelled for saying, ‘rat-brained goody-goodies’.
The
Crappy Filler Story:
The pants on fire team fails to top the ton in the page count.
All hell breaks loose in the office.
Reviewer:
Cam, 12, Perth
Chronic
Crapola
The story is a humorous type of
book. The setting and characters are good for the type of story it is.
The
book is easy to read because the size is not too small and not too big.
The style of writing is also suitable because it is very clear to the
person reading the book.
The
quality of the illustration on the cover of the book is good because when
all of the books in the series are joined they form a picture of a person.
Most
of the words are descriptive about what is happening at the time.
There
are some inappropriate words in the story and that is why I said it is
suitable for ages twelve and up.
The
layout of the book is just like a normal novel and is very easy to read.
I
would say the book would probably be a book that you read to yourself.
I
think that the book is a good and funny book to read and recommend it to
lots of other enthusiastic readers that like funny books and do not mind a
bit of inappropriate language.
Overall,
the book is excellent to read and I would not mind reading it again one
day. I would give the book a rating of Eighty-Five out of One Hundred.
Reviewer:
Slim Jim, 11, Perth
Paul
Seedy’s Head
This
is the first of seven stories in this hilarious book. The story is about
Paul Seedy who when he was born had a real ugly expression on his face
when the wind suddenly changed. So he sets out looking for the right time
when the wind changes again and is there waiting patiently with a peaceful
expression. However, don’t things go to plan?
My
rating: 6/10
Kronk’s
Special Cut
This
story is about a ex army dude who comes to a small town and scares the
local hairdresser away making him the new hairdresser. However, the people
do not like the new hairdresser. Whatever hair cut you ask for you always
get the “Kronks Special Cut”. The children decide to take revenge and
ruin this good for nothing hairdresser.
My
rating: 5/10
FutureSchool
This story is about a love sick school captain who would do anything to
win his girl’s love. The story is full of racism and really gets you
thinking.
My
rating: 9½ / 10
The
Wart List
The story involves a girl called Amelia Crock who in the doctor’s
waiting room when a woman leaves a very old book. As Amelia reads, she
discovers that the book is full of hexes, wart hexes to be exact. She uses
it to take revenge on anyone who dares insult her in any way. However, the
book backfires leaving Amelia worse then she started.
My
rating: 9¾ /10
Keith
Goes Bald
This story is based on how a boy woke up bald and is searching for his
hair.
My
rating: 2½/10
Going
for Broke
The story involves three stupid farms that use everything they have just
to win the island they share. They end up losing everything they have but
who will win.
The
Bumspray Boys Ride Again
This humorous story involves two down right digusting gang fighting for
the name of the towns most public nuisances. It’s full of foul tricks
not even fit to describe.
My
rating: 10/10
Overall I really enjoyed this book and recommend it for all the kids out there who enjoy a good laugh. Because there are one or two unacceptable words, I would recommend for kids over 11.
Reviewer: Amy, 12, Perth
