Every filing cabinet has a drawer that collects all the bits'n'pieces that don't fit elsewhere...and this is my "Miscellaneous drawer"! It contains items gleaned from the 'net and from various listservs. I claim no authorship or ownership but hope you enjoy the sharing.....
There are more miscellaneous amusements listed on the Miscellaneous Links page.
Go placidly amid the shelves and carrels, and remember what peace there was in reading rooms.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all students.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the travelling sales rep; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive coordinators, they are distractions in the discussion rooms.
If you compare yourself with school board consultants you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Record your procedures in your staff manual, as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble. You at least know you're getting results.
Exercise caution in your selections, for information media are full of ambiguity. But let this not blind you to what innovation there is; many librarians strive for high loan statistics; and everywhere the resource centre is full of learning experiences.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign interest. Neither be cynical about teachers' cooperation; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the untidy shelves.
Don't drop your bundle. Today's disaster is tomorrow's workroom joke.
Do not distress yourself with the cataloguing back-log. Much can be accomplished in the vacation.
Beyond an occasional evaluation of educational objectives, be gentle with yourself. You are a teacher, no less than the bursar or the caretaker; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt your programme is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with the principal, whatever you conceive Him/Her to be; and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of the circulation desk keep peace with your aide. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams it can still be a satisfying job. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
As found posted to the workroom wall in an Australian school library circa1973.
by C. Naslund. The above was in Emergency Librarian May-June 1986.
I am the Very Model of Computerized Librarian
Based on the song "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance.
I am the very model of computerized Librarian,
I seek out information zoologic to agrarian,
I know each subject that is found in an encyclopedia
I handle every AV tool and every type of media;
My online databases can locate each journal article,
In physics texts, I can define each elemental particle,
In atlases and online maps, I find the way to Timbuktu,
Identify each capital from Bogota to Katmandu.
I navigate the Internet with speed and perspicacity;
Evaluate each website for its content and veracity:
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.
I quickly search the Internet or grab the right book off the shelf;
Then give the patron answers or I teach him how to search himself,
I speed through every database like Galenet, FirstSearch, Dialog,
My records are all organized, just try my on-line catalog;
My homepage is a marvel of well-documented, helpful links,
It points to sites on modern jazz, hang-gliding and old Egypt's Sphinx!
I know just how to catalog in Dewey and in L. of C.,
I know the best books you should buy and those you wouldn't want for free.
I get you quotes on hot new stocks and find addresses in a trice,
The latest news, a star's birthday, song lyrics or a cure for lice:
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.
When I can look up online all ephemeral material,
When I can get full text of every page in every serial,
When my computer translates every language and each dialect,
From Hindu texts in Sanskrit to Confucius with each analect,
When every book is digitized and indexed in my database,
When I'm the first librarian to travel into outer space -
And when I've indexed every site on every chromosome and gene,
You'll say a more computerized librarian has never been.
I'm working on an interface directly to the human mind,
So I can capture concepts that have not yet even been defined;
In fact, in finding information, most utilitarian,
I am the very model of computerized librarian.
Lyrics by Diane M. O'Keefe, M.S.L.S. and Janet T. O'Keefe, , M.L.S.
Words of Wisdom
This is from a superintendent of schools. He wrote a book for high school and college graduates...a list of things they did not learn in school. In his book, he talks about how feel good, "politically-correct" teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality, and set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1.
Life is not fair; get used to it.
Rule 2.
The world won't care about your self-esteem The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3.
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4.
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.
Rule 5.
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.
Rule 6.
If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.
Rule 7.
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So, before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8.
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades. They'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9.
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own
time.
Rule 10.
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
B.O.O.K.
ANNOUNCING THE LATEST IN TECHNOLOGY: BUILT-IN ORDERLY ORGANISED KNOWLEDGE
The BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected to or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover! Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere (even sitting in an armchair by the fire) yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM. Here's how it works...
Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit process called binding, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs in half.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The BOOK never crashes and never needs rebooting. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish.
Many come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session - even if the BOOK has been closed.
BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarks can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.
Portable, durable, and affordable. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
posted to OZTLNET by Colleen Sims, 16/2/01
You know you're a librarian when.....?
>...people ask you for help in a library you don't work in, and you can (and do) help them!
> ...the first thing you ever put in the car for a trip is your book(s). Whatever else you take isn't important.
> ...you can teach a class of first graders, check out books to another group, help 4th grade students with their computer glitches, and work on three teacher requests at the same time!!
> ...people constantly ask you questions about which you have no (or little) knowledge, and you always stop what you're doing to help them find the answer
> ..."You love helping your friends find things, from their keys to the perfect outfit for the school dance." "You're smarter than to just buy the flashiest running shoes...you do the research to buy the BEST running shoe."
> ...you know a little bit about everything
> ...what you don't know, you know where to find
> ...you subconsciously categorize EVERYTHING
> ...you evaluate all information you receive in terms of which patron could use it
> ...if it involves electric, you can make it work
> ...you'd rather read a book than watch TV
> ...it really bothers you that Barnes and Noble is not arranged in Dewey
> order
> ...(your) spices are in alphabetical order (which seems sensible to me, but make my family and friends roll their eyes!); and,
> (you have a) puppy...named "Dewey"
> ...you are in a book store and you have to fight the urge to tell other people's kids to be quiet
> ...you have never gotten out of a bookstore for under $100
> ...you plan your family vacations around the ALA conference
> ...your night stand collapsed under the weight of several dozen paperbacks
> ...you have trouble deciding between buying groceries and getting that new hardback you heard about
> ...when you move you have to rent two trucks, one for books and one for furniture, clothing, etc.
> ...someone asks a reference question and you cannot sleep or eat until you have found the answer
> ...you cannot go anywhere without pushing in every chair you see
> ...you can tell the difference between MLA, APA, and Turabian bibliography formats
> ...it really bothers you to pass on Internet jokes without citing the original author
> ...you get very upset when the sections of the Sunday paper are not in order
> ...you are still pulling information off the shelves long after the customer has lost interest
> ...as a child you organized you books by title, by author, by color, by size...
> ...a new book comes out that you want to read, you automatically reserve it at the public library instead of buying it
> ...trips to the local library is a must visit sit
> ...you get goosebumps whenever you enter a library you haven't visited before
> ...you feel a child who has not visited a library has been deprived
> ...you rarely give anything other than books as gifts
> ...to prove your residence, you send a postcard to yourself immediately upon moving so that you can get a library card in your new town
> ...if you translate license plates into Dewey subjects when you're bored on a long drive
> ...you have more books on your bedside table than most people have in their living rooms
> ...Regis is asking if you want to be a millionaire and you prefer to read
> ...you know that Melville Dewey preferred Melvil.
>
> "It was kind of a joke, but I sew and have a lot of clothes, so one of my friends said I was the only person who organized my closet according to the Dewey Decimal System--and used all the numbers."
>
> "One of my classmates at Syracuse U said she catalogued comic strips as a child! I think it's when you find yourself constantly collecting books, articles or web sites to pass along to someone you know because you're SURE it would interest them!"
This 'hit' compiled by Mary Sundberg, LM, Poland Elementary, Poland, NY 13431
and posted to LM_NET@LISTSERV.SYR.EDU Sunday, March 11, 2001
And added to the list after floods in Queensland, Australia in March 2001....>
You know you're a Teacher Librarian when.....
> you're mopping up after the flash floods on the weekend and you sort the bookcases of books into Dewey order
posted to OZTL_NET@listserv.csu.edu.au on 11 Mar 2001 by Fiona Eastwood.
You know you're a Teacher when.....
1) You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.
2) You find humour is other people's stupidity.
3) You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free."
4) You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
5) You believe "shallow gene pool" should have it's own box on the report card.
6) You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
7) When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behaviour.
8) Marking all A's on the report card would make your life SO much simpler.
9) When you mention "vegetables" and you're not talking about a food group.
10) You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
11) You wonder how some parents even managed to reproduce.
12) You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
13) You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.
14) You've never had your profession slammed by someone who would never dream of doing your job.
15) You can't have children of your own, because there is no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.
16) Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"
posted to OZTL_NET@listserv.csu.edu.au on 12 April 2001 by
Lesa Landon
Teacher Librarian
Sandy Strait State School
Hervey Bay Qld.